Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Falling In Love With Chromebooks

At one point we all were doing everything in our browsers. I'm not sure if people don't remember this, or don't want to remember. We were playing flash games like Robot Unicorn Attack or Plants Vs Zombies online for free. We had been on the brink of having everything on the web. It was glorious. We didn't just have search engines. We had games and great email clients and music players and increasingly more sophisticated image editors and social networking and just about everything else you wanted to do right in a browser tab. And then selfish assholes fucked it up for everyone.

See, somebody found out that morons would pay a few dollars for those same games recycled on small phones screens. Then those same cocks banned flash on their popular phone so you'd be forced to pay for what used to be free if you wanted it there. They don't like competition when they are trying to lock people in. 

Then it didn't matter anymore. The beauty of run it everywhere in a browser was stalled. People simply halted developing for this very logical next step in our continued evolution as computer users. Not completely, but imagine how much further we would be had they not.

So fast forward five years later, but pretend someone decided to make an optimized, purpose specific device just for taking advantage of the most popular web browser in the world. Someone that remembered that promise of the web-based Internet. Someone that realized you don't have to make a dedicated app for each platform, because that just locks people in and forces them to pay for something that could be free, or supported with tiny advertisements. And that's what the Chromebook is.

You'll see a lot of dicks downing Chromebooks that have simply never used one. I know. I used to be one of those dicks. It's like I completely forgot how easy it was to do nearly everything in your browser at one point. After a few hours with my Chromebook it clicked again and there was this "oh yeah" moment when I realized how amazingly simple and quick it is to manage things with browser tabs. The dicks say "well, you can't do everything blah blah blah" or "It's not as powerful as blah blah blah" but what it really boils down to is them repeating the same tired bullshit that isn't true because they paid good money for something needlessly complicated. In reality they don't do shit with their laptops or tablets that you can't do on a Chromebook. Know what most people do with that 2000 dollar Macbook Pro in reality? Most People?

1) surf the net

2) check email

3) facebook/twitter/G+/etc 

4) porn

5) movies/television/youtube/music

6) play some games

All things you can do on a Chromebook. Here are some things people think they are going to do with their 1500 dollar Macbook Air, or 1300 Dollar Asus Zenbook that they won't actually ever do:

1) Write the Great American Novel

2) Discover a cure for cancer

3) Become a computer programmer

4) Start an online business

Yup. Never happens. But even if it DID happen, those are ALL things you can also do on a Chromebook. And it will be easier, and safer (unlike Macs, Chromebooks actually can't get viruses) and the learning curve is knowing how to use a web browser. There is hands down nothing quicker to learn, or easier to use than a Chromebook. It's just so stupidly easy to get shit done that it boggles your mind that you downed something so elegant and simple and powerful. 

So do yourself a favor and give the Chromebook a second look. You can do it amazingly cheap:

200 bucks

You can go mid-range with built in cellular internet:

330 bucks
(what I'm using now)

Or you can get the best looking laptop design anybody has come up with. Ever.

Chromebook Pixel 4G. 1450 bucks

There isn't even another laptop you can buy that looks this nice, or has the features the Pixel has. And if you spend some time with any of the cheaper ones, you will lust after this thing. Trust me.

The simple truth is that most of us, in the depths of our bias (like I was) really would do better with a Chromebook (like I do).