Friday, December 22, 2017

Xiaomi Ninebot Mini: EVERYBODY should get one. Not kidding.




You have one amazing choice to make for the BEST VANITY PRODUCT I HAVE EVER OWNED. Not kidding.

Prior to this award, the finest vanity product I had ever owned was.. hands down, the original Chromebook Pixel. 





OMFG that thing was so over-engineered. It was not even funny. NO exposed screwheads. NO SEAMS. PIANO HINGE. I mean, a mental level of attention to detail. Laser cut keys filled the entire way through with the lettering so they'd never wear off. THE FINEST TYPING EXPERIENCE on any laptop to date until the Pixel 2 Chromebook where it got slightly improved. You can still find these occasionally cheap. The only downside is the Ivy Bridge processor. Otherwise, everything else about the thing beats the shit out of anything else sold NOW most of the time. It's fast as SIN still. Because ChromeOS gets faster over time. You only lose battery life. Think of Ivy Bridge as Haswell with 1 percent more power, and 46 percent less battery life. 
I Digress

Either way,  

You can find the Xiaomi Ninebot Mini (Original) for 299 if you look hard enough. Afterwards, you can get the Xiaomi ORIGINAL AMAZINGLY PERFECT :


And have what right now is my favorite self balancing scooter on EARTH.

And it's cheap as sin.

Now.

So, 299 for the Xiaomi Ninebot Mini (search that way. You will find morons trying to "clear old stock". Even on Amazon. Even on Ebay. Be patient).


I can't explain it. They must have focus grouped THE FUCK out of the best handlebar. Look for the Original.



It doesn't matter how you let your hands fall on it.

It doesn't matter, how you grip it.

You ALWAYS feel in control, and it always feels natural and amazing.

Whoever designed this handlebar was a genius.

So, despite it BEING 40 bucks cheaper than the next best handlebar, it's the best.

The Original.




This product configuration served me through rain, snow, mud, ice. Never let me down.

It would carry me from 24th street to 11th street quickly and easily at FIVE PM weaving through people on the sidewalk like it was nothing.

FOR THIS PRICE, no other product on EARTH outside of... BITCOIN offers more value per dollar.

I love the Xiaomi Ninebot Mini in BLACK with the BLACK Xiaomi Handlebars.

Adore it.

HOWEVER....

I sold mine. I'm going to try to grow up and use a Ninebot Elite PTR E+


And I picked this product SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE it's a Ninebot Product.


You should too.





They simply look better. I have no idea who does styling for Segway but it's horrible.

LOOK AT THAT.

That's better looking than anything Segway ever made.

I'm sorry. I'm being an honest consumer.

And I'll be dead honest.

Because of the strength of the REVIEWS for this product, and my OWN experience with their AMAZING Xiaomi Ninebot Mini, I bought this.

They have an AMAZING sale going on. It's worth Every penny. What an amazing deal.

Right now, the Ninebot Elite PTR E+ is simply the best commuter city vehicle on Earth. You can ride it right off the sidewalk and right into ANY building. Because it's only 23" wide. It's a joke inside a building. You can ride it right to your work desk.

THAT is the power of this amazing device. Ride it 20 miles at 12mph, then ride it right to your desk.

This is the best at that on Earth.

However....

I'd be a shitty reviewer if I wasn't being honest...

You can have 90 percent of that for about 400 bucks with an original Xiaomi Ninebot Mini for 299 bucks (if you look) and the Xiaomi Handlebar (original). The combination might be the finest inexpensive city transport solution in history. It's just so overwhelmingly good.

You'll see.

Oh, and if you can not find the "Xiaomi Ninebot Mini" for 299, look for the "Segway Minilite" for 299. It's the same thing.

: )

You will find one or the other. And they are AMAZING in a city. Jesus. I took 14 block treks I'd NEVER have taken otherwise. Other than it being me screaming down the sidewalk at 10mph safely, and arriving 6 times faster than if I'd walked. 

If you live in a city? Buy this product. You will love me for it. I HIGHLY recommend getting the Xiaomi Handlebar because it might be one of the best engineered products I've experienced in my entire life. It's that brilliant.

However...

If you have 2 grand... And, if you have 2 grand in BITCOIN, you can use eGifter to buy 2 grand in eBay gift cards like I did when I sold all my Bitcoin Cash, and bought my Christmas Present to myself. 

My new Ninebot Elite PTR E+ in BLACK





:  )

LOVE YOU


Night Night

S